The Rise of Post-Separation Abuse Awareness: How Family Courts Are Responding

Introduction: The Abuse That Doesn’t End When You Leave

For many survivors, leaving an abusive relationship is supposed to be the start of a safer, more stable future. But instead, post-separation abuse keeps them trapped in fear, manipulation, and control—long after they’ve physically left. The abuse doesn’t stop when the relationship ends—it just changes form.

What does this look like?

• Coercive control: Stalking, harassment, threats, or intimidation.
• Legal abuse: Weaponizing the court system through excessive filings, custody battles, or false accusations.
• Financial abuse: Refusing child support, draining joint accounts, or prolonging divorce proceedings to create instability.
• Parenting sabotage: Using children as tools of control through manipulation, alienation, or false claims.

For decades, these abusive tactics went unrecognized by family courts. Survivors who tried to protect themselves, or their children were often accused of being "uncooperative," "hostile," or even committing parental alienation. But now, things are starting to change.

The Growing Awareness of Post-Separation Abuse

Family courts, legal professionals, and policymakers are finally acknowledging what survivors have known for years: abuse doesn’t end when you leave—it just takes new forms.

1. The Role of Research & Statistics

Recent studies are bringing post-separation abuse into the spotlight:

• 90% of coercive control survivors continue to experience abuse post-separation. (Domestic Shelters)
• The two-year period following separation is the most dangerous time for survivors, with a heightened risk of homicide, legal retaliation, and financial sabotage. (Luke’s Place)
• 61.1% of child homicide cases were linked to intimate partner violence, often following separation, divorce, or custody disputes. (PMC Research)

These numbers are forcing courts to rethink how they assess risk and protect survivors and children.

2. Legal System Changes & Family Court Reform

• Coercive Control Laws: Several states and countries now recognize coercive control as a form of abuse, even when physical violence isn’t present. (Ex: Jennifer’s Law in Connecticut expanded domestic violence definitions to include coercive control.)
• Judicial Training on Post-Separation Abuse: More courts are training judges to recognize coercive tactics, legal abuse, and parental sabotage, preventing survivors from being dismissed or penalized.
• Protective Parenting vs. Parental Alienation: The long-standing misuse of "parental alienation" claims to silence protective mothers is being challenged, with courts urged to consider documented abuse histories before defaulting to shared custody.

3. The Rise of Survivor-Led Advocacy

The push for change isn’t just coming from policymakers—it’s coming from survivors themselves.

• Mothers who lost custody to abusive exes are speaking out, driving legal system accountability.
• Organizations like the Leadership Council on Child Abuse are reshaping how courts view post-separation abuse.
• Grassroots petitions and survivor-led legislation efforts are leading to new protections, better risk assessments, and more awareness.

What This Means for Survivors Today

While progress is happening, challenges remain. Survivors still face judges who don’t understand coercive control, legal systems that favor shared custody over safety, and financial strain caused by prolonged court battles.

But knowing your rights and being prepared is more important than ever. If you’re dealing with post-separation abuse, here’s what you can do:

• Document Everything: Keep records of threats, legal filings, financial sabotage, and abusive patterns.
• Seek Trauma-Informed Legal Support: Work with attorneys who understand coercive control and post-separation abuse—not just standard custody law.
• Connect with Advocacy Groups: Organizations like DV LEAP, Luke’s Place, and Protective Mothers’ Alliance International offer survivor-centered legal resources.
• Know That You’re Not Alone: Thousands of women are facing these same challenges—but change is happening because of the voices of survivors just like you. 

Conclusion: The Fight for Change Continues

The rise of post-separation abuse awareness is long overdue but it’s finally happening. Courts, legislators, and advocates are listening.

The next step? Ensuring that legal changes are enforced, survivor voices are heard, and protections aren’t just on paper—but in practice. And you can be a part of it!  $275,000 in annual funding is available for the next two years, on the Federal level for states willing to go the extra mile within VAWA, under Title15, titled “Keeping Children Safe from Family Violence” What can you do to see that this happens in your state? Call, write, visit your local legislator. Learn more at the link below.

 https://bwjp.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/TitleXV_FinalReport.pdf

Your story matters. Your safety matters. And while the fight for justice in family courts continues, you are not alone.

If you’re facing post-separation abuse, resources are available. Explore our Local Resources Page for legal support, advocacy groups, and survivor-led networks. 

© Kaitlyn Jorgensen